Business Mums – Why should we make a choice ! – A Personal Post

This isn’t a Weddingy post but this is my Blog and it  deals with my thoughts and I am a Business Mum.

Its a dog eat dog world out there, and article by Daily Mail columist  Liz Jones was offensive to anyone trying to make their valuable contribution to society and achieve some sort of work /life balance.

The Asda Christmas advert is a prime Example of all the jobs a mum has to do and thats before you spend hours at the end of the glossy version of that day with making products or blogging or doing admin, or catching up on client work and working late into the night…

As Business Mums sometimes we have to work twice as hard to be heard, and sometimes I find myself fighting what I think is an unwinnable battle BUT I know that myself and many others can offer much to the Working world and we refuse to go down without showing a little bit of spirit. 

The way people view working mums can be very mixed.

Generally people that you meet or talk to admire your courage for doing it, there are those that aren’t sure how you manage , then there are those that are completely dismissive, and can’t see you as more than just a mum.

 Not that there is anything wrong in just being mum if thats the choice you wish to make, but the amount of people that think that as a Working mum that you are just playing at business, or doing it part time is staggering.

As a Nurse in a paid career I worked a 38 hour week, now I work double for probably less money and have to support and care for my two children as well. If thats part time then something is screwed up…

And sometimes its not that we don’t want to return to those careers we have before but through government cuts we simply don’t get the choice.

From personal experience peoples attitudes towards self employed work at home mums can range from mildly disilluisioned to completely insulting.

Last year, I was completely flabbergasted by comments by previous Apprentice Katie Hopkins “Its not about family planning, its about making a profit”

 Many parents are forced into self employment due to no or few opportunities within other sectors of the Business market.

Yes we have made the choice to have children, but usually we have not made the choice to be made redundant, or forced out by those that think any other 18 year old  that can do stupid hours would be better than someone with a bit of life experience.

Money whilst incredibly important in helping us to live should not be used as a stand off against childrearing.

 Her other comments “To be honest its beyond me why any working woman would want to take any more than a couple of weeks off.”

 Well excuse me, WHY should we be forced to make choices ?  Why should we be forced to make sacrifices we don’t want to and shouldn’t have to.

What have you got when you are gone ?

You could be mega successful , have all the penthouses, cars, jewellery and money you could wish for but without someone to share it with or leave it to, whats that worth and whats the point?

And her last comments rile me most “Perish the thought of becoming some brainless, bloated version of your former self”

This makes me really angry.

 I, and many women like me are certainly not brainless. I am in an industry that constantly inspires me, it makes me vital, and pushes me every day.

I am constantly being asked my opinion, I am able to give advice to others in my same situation and I am respected for what I do and what I have given to this industry.

Yes I might take a bit longer to get things done, maybe I can’t do all the fancy shmaltzy things that non parents can do, maybe I’m not the coolest, and maybe I have to organise things with a little more thought and maybe I can’t just hop in the car or plane to the next big event but OMG, I am anything but brainless.

 The bit about bloated maybe a little closer to the truth, yes I’m not a size 10 anymore, and I probably never will be again but I am proud to bear the lovehandles that show that I made someone.

Delia Smith also made comments in a magazine article that she might not have been so successful if  she had had children. I find this really hard to believe.

Having children challenges you in the kitchen having to come up with all manner of culinary delicacies to make sure your offspring eat right.

From being mum to 2 fussy eaters you have to get creative, or they would spend forever eating chicken nuggets or fish fingers.

 Its really difficult to undertand these views , and it gets me really cross. Why does it have to be a choice?

I am passionate about my business like I am passionate about my family.

I find it extrordinarily offensive when people are so shortsighted that you can’t have both business and family, that you aren’t good enough, or that you can’t be better or successful if you have kids.

I  spoke to a mum in business who shared her experience.

“The hardest thing I find with running a business is time juggling! Not so much time-management but getting into a routine where I have enough time to see clients, spend quality time with my children and be able to keep my home in some sembelence of order is the hardest part.”

“On the difficult days  I have to try and remember what I’m trying to build and who I’m doing all this for.  I tend to feel guilty, but overall  when I see my kids and clients happy I feel like I am the proudest mum and businesswoman in the world.”

I think this is the experience of us all, and certainly myself.

Children enrich you, they teach you more compassion, more patience , and in the Wedding Industry I find this useful.

Its almost as if your clients are an extension of your children, you want to nurture their vision, you want to do right by them etc.

In addition, M.T of Glasgow Girls Wedding Guide  said “Being a mum in business inspires me as I want to generate an entrepreneurial spirit in my children.”

I think this is a fabulous attitude for as well as making a difference in our time we can influence the next generation of business too, and show them that it can be done with heart, and not so cut throat.

 This might not be cutting edge, this might not be the Boardroom, and I would probably be the first to get “Fired” by Lord Sugar but really I don’t give a stuff because I have what I want, and its where I want to be at this moment.

I might still strive for the heights and the accolades that I aspire to achieve but I know that I am determined and I have the fight in me to get there.

You make your own destiny and you push to achieve your dreams. Whether you are a full time Business mum, or a mummy Blogger or even if you do do work part time…this ain’t no holiday, this is hard graft

So Liz Jones…in your face…We have so so much to give so we won’t let anyone with a non sensical attitude stand in our way.

More about ALISON TINLIN

UK Wedding Blogger with an eclectic style based in Glasgow

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