Today I am thrilled to share some epic advice from Mylo Photography on whether you should say “I Do” or “I Don’t” to social media on your wedding day.
Recently married themselves, Kieran and Joanne are Mylo Photography and they specialise in relaxed, natural, reportage style wedding photography.
I hand over to Joanne to share her wisdom on the pros and cons of social media….
“When Kieran and I opened our wedding cards the morning after the day before I literally “laughed out loud” at this particular effort from my good friend Antony.”
“Largely because he had been with us at our wedding after party (sat in the hotel bar with our lovely far away guests, me in my PJ’s eating a chicken sandwich – it’s all glamour you know) when at 3am Kieran and I ceremoniously, to fanfare and applause, changed our Facebook status from “engaged” to “married.”
“97 likes ensued along with many kind wishes and congratulations – some of which from friends we were sat with at the time.”
“It was the same when we got engaged – excited change of status, picture of my ring and 157 people press like or choose to leave a kindly word, a happy OMGEEEE, a bitter “nice one” (which really means “when is it MY turn?”) and you find yourself checking in and smiling and mentally crossing ANYONE who failed to comment off the invitation list.”
“I love social media – I think it is a great thing.”
“It enables me to keep in daily contact with my friends, enables me to see their holiday snaps, their babies growing up, the meals that they have eaten, their pets, their happy times and sadly, sometimes, their woes.”
“However, a bit like a celeb ever wooing or berating the paparazzi, when it comes to our wedding day many couples want Facebook to stay as far away as possible.”
“During the process of my planning I was a member of a really great planning group on Facebook – wouldn’t have managed without it.”
“Time and time again the question would be asked as to how you could stop people putting pictures of your wedding on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram without you vetting them first and before you had chance to share any pictures of your own.”
“It caused great worry and concern amongst my fellow brides to be and especially when you have paid for a lovely professional wedding photographer.”
“Many brides would prefer the first glimpses of their day to be carefully selected and photos that they are proud of, rather than a blurry camera phone picture of you walking down the aisle, uploaded and tagged before you have even said your vows.”
“I can sympathise because it happened to me.”
“We had married, we were having a photos taken outside the church, I had mentioned to my friends I didn’t really want pictures putting on Facebook and everyone had behaved themselves.”
“Which was great until someone I vaguely know, happened to walk past church, decided to take a picture and bam. There it was. I’d been married for 15 minutes and a picture was on Facebook.”
“When I was told on the day I laughed and to be honest (and this is good advice to remember) it was insignificant to me, I was having too much of a good time to care.”
“If someone had told me beforehand this would happen, I would have been distraught.”
“So what can we do? How can you try to make sure that your wedding remains private to you until YOU are ready to share it?”
“Or can you shift your thinking to see that this could, in fact, be a good thing?”
1. Let your guests know your views.
“Some couples have taken to putting a polite request in their invites or on their order of services.”
“Some couples ask the Vicar/Priest or registrar to request that guests refrain from uploading pictures onto social media sites before the service starts.”
“You could leave a Facebook status on your own page the day before the wedding, just letting people know not to upload pictures.”
“If people know, the last thing they will want to do is upset or offend you, so this should hopefully work.”
2. Look at your profile privacy settings.
“This is an easy way to make sure photographs that you don’t like will not appear on your timeline.”
“If you apply a setting which means all wedding photographs have to be checked by you before appearing on your timelines, you will have full control over who sees what and can and can ask that pictures you don’t like be removed.”
“If you want to be really sure, deactivate your profile for a couple of days – it’s extreme, but it will work.”
3. Consider an “unplugged” wedding.
“A more extreme measure is to tell your guests that your wedding is to be “technology free” – no phones, no tablets, no cameras other than the professional photographer.”
“The really good thing about this is that everyone’s attention will be on you, looking at you through their own eyes rather than seeing a pixelated version of you on an LCD screen.”
“They will be truly present with you during your wedding day, not distracted at any point by a bleep or a ring or a buzz.”
“They will really watch your first dance rather than film it.”
“Your guests may find it difficult, they may well not like it but by the end of your day they may just feel like they have really, fully, experienced something.”
“Your other option is to think about the positives.”
“You may have one or two professional photographers, they won’t see everything that happens however hard they try.”
“Most photographers leave after the first dance which may leave 2-3 hours of celebrations uncovered.”
“In the days after the wedding you may, in fact, be desperate to see some photos so encouraging your friends and family to take them may in fact be a good thing.”
“So are there ways that you can you control it.”
4. Use a wedding app
“There are several wedding apps that exist such as Wed Pics or Wedding Snap (review of these coming soon on the blog!) that mean your guests CAN take pictures and they CAN upload them but to a central smart phone application where you can see them and vet them before YOU decide if you want to share them or not.”
“A request for your guests to download the app could be put around your venue, in your invites or in the order of service – this way guests may feel that they can interact with their gadgets but without any concern to the happy couple.”
“You can have your wedding cake and eat it.”
“If you accept that social media exists you might save yourself a headache.”
“Why not have a wedding hashtag?”
“Encourage your guests to upload pictures to whatever form of social media they prefer and then use the hashtag to see every single one of them.”
“Accept that your wedding day will be filled with your lovely family and friends and every single one of them is there to celebrate with you and if they take a picture it’s because they want to remember that moment and for you to remember it too.”
6. Completely embrace it
“Embrace the selfie, don’t worry about being and looking perfect all of the time and use every photo to really remember the essence of the day.”
“Some of my favourite pictures were taken by my lovely friend Dervla – who made me realise I actually was a bit tipsy, I did eat a pork sandwich that was almost as big as my head, I did dribble ginger beer ice-cream AND cherry beer down my dress and I danced like an utter loon to “Mr Brightside”.
“They are great pictures. I may not look poised in them, but do you know what? I look bloody happy.”
“So, something to think about. Every picture is a memory – you hold within your power the ability to accept or reject.”
Thank you to Kieran and Joanne for sharing their thoughts with us today on the Blog.
I find this subject a wee bit tricky as I LOVE Social media.
When I got married 10 years ago Facebook was still newish and it wasn’t so much of a thing then.
I feel that our natural curiosity looks to social media as an insight to events that we can’t attend and so attaches extreme importance to that.
However on the other hand who wants a dodgy photo of themselves out there, as in every day life we always edit before we press post, we want to be seen at our best.
Its a subject that should be looked at by every individual couple, and your view point should be made very clear.
To Contact Mylo Photography
Phone: 07725 012 470
All images – Mylo Photography