Today I want to focus on the the big Post wedding Let Down, a little spoken of, but very much experienced thing, and discuss some coping strategies to come through the other side.
The Wedding to Wedded transition can be made smoother by being prepared for the blues before they happen.
This may appeal more to the Grooms but I want to come at it from a sporting analogy, say the Olympics in 2012, or the Commonwealth Games in 2014 or the end of the World Cup.
These events are a spectacle of wonderment with huge national achievements, highs, lows, tears and sweat, and we invest our time, our passion for sport, our pride and a whole lots beside.
Similarly when we prepare for a Wedding the build up is enormous.
The preparation for an Event so important takes over our lives much like the preparation the athletes have to bring and the strength needed to bring their dreams to fruition.
Now in the immediate aftermath of these events, we as a Nation feel a little bit blah, with a hangover that has nothing to so with alcohol (or maybe a little bit!)
This transcends to a flatness that we can feel once the Wedding is over.
Months and years can be invested in making sure that the Wedding Day is perfect, amazing and something we have dreamed of.
We all have some thoughts of how things will be following the Big Day but we are mainly focused on making it the best party of our lives!
We all go into married life with a somewhat rose tinted view of what Marriage can be, and though in the most part wonderful, life happens and it can throw you curveballs which make the course less than smooth.
-Expectation is an all encompassing word. We have expectations of the day and then we have expectations of the Married bit .
This can be a huge wakeup call to a new married, and anything short of the Newlywed bubble that was expected can set all sorts of angst in motion.
Make your expectations realistic knowing that you have to be open to life changes in whatever manner they occur.
-You need to acknowledge as a couple any disappointments you feel, and discuss your feelings as adjustment takes time and you need to be on the same page.
Try to gain some perspective and know that Marriage is about sharing your goals and dreams but also about following your own path too.
-You need to get social. Wedding Planning takes up an enormous amount of time and relationships/friendships we have had for many years can take a backseat.
Its time to make some effort as friends may have been left feeling a bit neglected. Organise a dinner party, go out to lunch with the girls, plan that racous night out on the town, or that night in with a DVD and far too much Ice Cream.
-Get Busy and take up a Hobby. Being married doesn’t mean being tied to each other 24/7. It means loving someone but giving them the freedom to be their own person too.
You can get back to pursuits that have been on the backburner or start something new – join a gym, do that dance class, get creative.
-You need to Relax. Much of the last months will have been taken up with projects, things Wedding to do.
Now is the time to just enjoy each others company, remind yourselves of what made you want to be married in the first place.
You now have the time to just BE MARRIED….
And just like the planning stages, and just like the Event, remind yourself what a great job you have done.
Sebastian Coe summed things up our achievements at the Olympic Games really well at the close of 2012 Games when he said ” When our time came – Britain, we did it right” and with a Wedding too we have to give ourselves that pat on the back for bringing together pretty much the best party of our lives.
And we always have the enduring memory. Getting married is beautiful, its Togetherness personified and a celebration of our love.
Image: Valerie Elash via Unsplash