Today I am thrilled to welcome Pauline and Julie of Heart of Bricks to share some of their beautiful wedding and to speak about their experiences of ageism as a same sex couple.
Julie says of the day…
Pauline and I met in 1996 and had lived together for 19 years before we got married in August 2017.
I was 60 yrs old when we married and Pauline was 53, it was a second marriage for both of us.
My eldest son gave me away and Pauline’s older sister gave her away.
My eldest granddaughter was our flower girl, and my 2 grandsons were our ring bearers so it was a real family affair.
The wedding was in the middle of a heatwave but it managed to rain most of the day which didn’t dampen our spirits – after all you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
Lego decor is our Business so it was featured quite heavily as you can imagine.
The styling was really just what we both liked and what blended with our surroundings at our beautiful venue – The Gardens Yalding.
Our personal experience of ‘ageism’ within the wedding industry is one I imagine a lot of mature couples also come across.
The lack of bridal outfits for mature brides for example – we struggled for a long time trying to find suitable outfits as the majority of designers seem to be focused purely on younger brides.
We eventually found our outfits online which isn’t quite as exciting and romantic as trying outfits on in a bridal boutique and choosing the right one there and then.
We attended a few wedding fairs, and as a mature same sex couple we were sad and disappointed that the majority of the suppliers assumed that we were either sisters or mothers of the bride to be and groom.
When we corrected them they were polite enough and tried to hide their embarrassment that they had made such assumptions without considering we might actually be the couple getting married.
We didn’t buy any wedding magazines as none of the content was relevant to either mature or same sex couples.
Even social media platforms such as Instagram and Pinterest were disappointing in their lack of inclusion of weddings of mature couples.
There was also a struggle to find Mrs and Mrs wedding supplies/accessories and we actually ended up crafting quite a lot of the displays and accessories ourselves which was great fun and very rewarding, but there should be more out there.
Going forward I think the wedding industry needs to recognise and acknowledge there is a large customer base out there of maturer couples getting married and wanting their day to be equally special.
Designing ranges of fashions for mature brides (not focusing so much on what society thinks you need to cover up), being more mindful of their needs and promoting these in all forms of media would go a long way to improve and be more inclusive.
I find it really sad that we are still not there with equality, and ageism is still very prevalent.
The wedding industry SHOULD be a champion for all who wish to celebrate their love, and everyone SHOULD feel represented.
To Find out more about Heart of Bricks