Writing a Wedding Guest List surely has to be one of the biggest Wedding headaches there is besides the Seating plan, and is probably one of the most prominent causes of couple and family stress.
To try to avoid difficult situations [though usually not everyone will be 100% happy] here are some tips:
*When deciding who you want at one of the most important days of your life, its important to start with making a list.
Write an initial list of those you would like to invite to the day, and then sort out in importance the must be there’s, from the would like’s.
Both Bride and Groom should write this list, and then each set of parents.
But be firm on the numbers that your Venue can accomodate, and what you can afford.
This is where it can get a little messy, especially if financial contribution from family.
Comprimise is always the name of the game, but don’t back down too easily. Emotional blackmail can be a huge tension inducer.
*If there is a large extended family, think about who you see the most, if you haven’t seen someone for a long time, why should they be prioritised over someone that is involved in your daily life.
It should be made clear that due to space and budget that you can’t include everyone.
*Its not a Competition and one side may have a smaller family than the other. Its about balance and those that are important to both of you as a couple.
*If you choose not to invite children, make this clear from the outset.
This can cause big hiccups, with guests that are parents, so don’t have one rule for one, and one rule for another.
From a personal point of view I believe that kids at weddings are an essential ingredient, and bring innocence and fun to the day, buit if you as a couple will be stressed out by little
ones piping up at not quite the right time, or have visions of the chocolate fountain taking a dive, then make your decision and stick to it.
Perhaps make the No children rule into a positive thing by saying you want parents to be able to completely relax and enjoy themselves, but be sure to give lots of notice so that childcare
can be arranged.
*The subject of +1 can be a contencious issue, and when it comes to adding numbers can cause rifts.
The partner of someone in a long term relationship would take presidence over someone wishing to bring someone that they have just met.[ and who often the Bride and Groom don’t even know].
BUT it has to be a personal decision and again be based on space and budget.
*If you are getting married abroad, not everyone may be able to come, and this can be dependant on where you go.
Send invites to those that you would really like to be there, but give good notice as saving up may have to be done.
A good comprimise is to have a big party when you come back, and involve and invite those that couldn’t share the day abroad.
What has to be remembered throughout the whole process is that its your Day, and what you want as a couple comes first, keep hold of that thought.
Image Credit: Guest List from Clean Life and Home